I think, therefore I'm chicken

While on the subject of chicken, what happens when ancient Indian philosophers ponder the eternal mystery of the chicken and its crossing of the road?

You get some fresh chicken jokes, with a very Indian twist, invented by my funny friend Nandu Rao.

Upanishads: Then Nachiketa asked the Lord of Death, "O mighty Yama, why does the chicken cross the road?" Yama pondered the question and gently replied, "Understand Nachiketa that the road does not exist, neither does the chicken. Yet, there exists the desire of a chicken to cross the road. It is this desire that we have to rid ourselves of to become one with the unmanifested Brahman."

Bhagavad Gita: Rain cannot wet the chicken, knives cannot cut it. Fire does not burn the chicken, the wind does not ruffle it. The chicken is beyond the twofold confusion of life and death. Still, the road must be crossed. Pick up thy mighty bow O courageous son of Kunti and cross the road. It is thy duty, as it is the duty of every chicken, to cross the road and come to me.

Puranas: And then the sage Vishwamitra went to king Ajatashatru and demanded the compensation of a chicken. The humbled king offered him a barn full of the birds. Vishwamitra took only one saying, "The road is narrow, the path is hard and I am old. There is room and time for only one chicken to cross."

The Vedas: The road was black, darker than darkness. A faint stirring, a desire emerged from the blackness. A yearning to cross the road. Desire manifested. Took the form of chicken. Who knows when it will cross the road? Time is a cycle, without beginning and without end. We sacrifice to thee O Agni, the chicken that would cross the road.

Ramakishna: The road and the chicken are one and the same. Yet they seem to cross. Why? Let us bow our heads to mother Kali and pray for the vision of the manifested oneness of the chicken and the road.

Vivekananda: Arise chicken! Awake! Leave thy egg and cross the mighty road!

And on a less philosophical note there are these ones, also by Nandu:

Balbinder Chatwal, Roadside Dhabba owner: Was it a butter chicken or a tandoori chicken?

Sumeet Gosalia, Jain Dhabba owner: There is no chicken here nor is there any onion, potato, garlic or ginger. We do have vegetable kheema and can deliver it across the road.

Ministry of Health: We will not allow any chicken to cross the road till further notification. The bird flu epidemic is under control on this side of the road. Our jurisdiction does not extend to the other side.