And thereby hangs a paranoid tail

Villagers seem to love dogs. Though they don't fuss over them or feed them bread and jam, every household has a dog or two. Some have half a dozen lounging around in the dust of the yard. They are given scraps to eat and left to run free and wild.

Watching a dog chase a frightened, squawking rooster, it occurs to me how easy it would be for a wily politician to make the dog look like the enemy.

I can imagine a cur like Raj Thackeray – after he's done chasing poor Biharis out of Bombay - starting a Hound the Dogs campaign.

It's so absurd, it's entirely possible.

Dogs are not your best friend, he will shout from his pulpit. Can't you see how they eat roosters and deprive the local population of food? Can't you see how they monopolise the garbage, and to such an extent that poor local rag pickers actually have to fight them off? Even the poor cow has to go hungry. Is this fair? Not even hungry Biharis will stoop to such low tricks.

Beware of dogs.If out of the kindness of your heart, you've given a dog a nice home, remember this: give a dog an inch and he will want the whole yard. And soon even that will not be enough. The dirty dogs will completely take over your neighbourhood. See how already they mark their territory simply by raising one leg. Look how they growl at every one who passes by. They are dangerous and they're armed to the teeth - with very sharp teeth that bite.

Beware of dogs. Dogs give you rabies. And they will take away your jobs. Is that what you want? Already they have taken over the job of the watchman. What will they do next, ask yourselves that. What if they become farmers and wine shop owners? Will you beg them for scraps, for a glass of fenny? What will happen to your Goan pride then?

Don't forget, men wiser than me have already predicted that every dog will have his day. Has that day already come? Is the country already going to the dogs?

And listening to his rant, maybe the poor villagers will get rid of the dogs and hire migrant Biharis to guard their homes and then the local Goans will say that the Biharis have taken away their jobs and Raj Thackeray will chase away the Biharis and so the merry-go-round will continue.

Unless, of course, they pelt Raj Thackeray with stones and shout: You dirty cur, take that.

What fun it would be to see Raj Thackeray run away like a frightened dog, with his tail tucked between his legs.Run, you cur, run!